special weddings

They are both tripple extra small sized.
They both have long black hair.
They both got married in the absence of their family.
They both wore their hair down and long on the back at the wedding.
They both had me witnessing their beautiful special day of life.

They: CY, my high school classmate and my grad school roommate; Y, my weekend roommate.

In the woods near our rented house (where I called home for three years), CY & Dave got married in 2005. It was a hot summer day. I could feel sweat dripping down my back to heel.
Tears were cooling my face.

In the city hall of Manhattan (where I feel like home), Y & Y got married in 2008. It was a hot summer day. I could feel sweat in the air. The AC was working in the city hall. Champaign was cooling everyone's soul.

No matter what my view is on marriage, the wedding itself is always so spiritual -- touching the core of my heart. It is even more so when there's no religious or cultural tradition involved: the fact that two people decide to make a vow of forever (in addition to being claimed as a couple by the government) in such a simplest way is very spiritual.

They are so in love.
That moment defines forever.
The legal part of it is just a socialized way of publicizing their commitment which does not need a license for its existence and certainty.

I don't believe that one needs the other half to be completed. People who believe this may make their lives too difficult and always in a search. Feeling incomplete is just a depressing idea that makes one in a low self esteem. An independent individual can feel so incomplete because of this belief. How upsetting! Don't believe it and get a life.

I believe that one can complete oneself by oneself. Two complete people can have a great life together. One can live without one's love of life, just less happier. Since we are a creature pursuing happiness, we prefer to live with our love of life. With this belief system, I pursue my happiness with a happy attitude.

After Ching's wedding, I am happy that I don't have such a big family like hers. But I do have a strong-personality grandma, who will definitely want to have her way if I ever get married. The good thing is that my cousin is getting married next year. Grandma will soon have this wedding fun to torture the newlyweds. She may stop nagging Mama about me now but increase the nagging volume right after the cousin is taken. Luckily Mama has a strong personality too, and even more luckily Mama is on my side.
One thing for sue is that I will not take the somehow-has-become-tradition wedding pictures in professionally fake scenarios created in a photo studio. No one is allowed to get so drunk that ruins my natural high. Jazz music is the background. If I can get a wood floor, tango will be the theme.

Miranda of SATC had one of my ideal weddings: in a garden with a warm-but-not-hot autumn color.
CY & Dave's was great but I would prefer to do it in fall rather than summer.
Y&Y's was great too but I would prefer to do it around sunset instead of sunrise.




Congrats! Muffin and the Pig. --- From the amazing postdoc, Pei von Babyfat