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April 21, 2010

Facebook friends

Perhaps I should've avoided it, but I did not. I clicked it. And my heart rate began accelerating before every thing appeared. And I kept on clicking to see every image as if it helped to slowed down my blood circulation.
I had been imagining about this day. Now I realize that nothing could prepare it. Since the first time I started imagining this specific event, I had come up with so many different scenarios, but I never thought Facebook was the media.

Some "friends" feed the "news" so frequently which makes me wonder if I really want to experience everything they feel so awesome or aweful about. Their news feeds cover the entire first "home" page and pushed the news that I actually may be interested (because those are from friends who I actually care or am close with) to the "older posts".
Like now, if you read this blog via Facebook, you may understand what I am talking about.

An RA went on a vacation with her ex-boyfriend. Another RA went to see a hokey game with her ex-boyfriend. I was like "why?" They went "oh, he is just a friend now."
I see, but why did you say you were going to do so and so with your ex-boyfriend, instead of a friend. An ex is always an ex. He or she will always be in this special category of "ex", and never ever will be a friend without any description. "Just" is a description.
Now we people have made yet another category of friends: Facebook friends. So tiring.
But at least, that's where an ex can go. You get it? A friend can be a Facebook friend. An ex can be a Facebook friend. But an ex cannot be a friend. So an ex and a friend can co-exist in the big pool of Facebook wonderland swimming with Facebook friends. However, an ex and a friend will never cross over to each other's category, but both of them may, as time goes by and my hearty feels fade away, become simply Facebook friends.

Sometimes, I wonder whether it is better to reconnect those old-time friends with Facebook and make them Facebook friends, or to keep them safe and sound in my memory as a friend.

April 7, 2010

newark without murders

For many Taiwanese, Newark is one of the airports where they enter the United States and go visit the heart of the Big Apple, Manhattan. For me, it has been the place I want to avoid as much as possible.

I drove through there at night the first time in 2007 to pick up a friend at the Newark Penn Station. I told my friend that I had to be very focused and please do not talk me. Every time I stopped for a traffic light, I felt time crawling painfully slowly. I was very aware of anyone walking toward my direction or any car stopped near me.
How could I not be afraid? All the stores were fended with metal bars. More than half of the buildings were deserted with windows broken. People crossed roads at zero speed or without a sense of emergency from any direction. I wished I were not driving such an easily targeted car. I wished I were not an Asian gal.

I drove through there once during a day time. Technically, it was Kara who drove me through there to get my car. Bungbung had been towed within 15 minutes after I parked it in a parking lot of a commercial plaza right across the medical school. In case you don't know what a plaza is, it is a complex of buildings of restaurants, markets, and shops. Using my common sense, I thought I could stop there for 30 min to do some business outside the plaza. Someone must have spied on me and called the towing company the minute I walked out. Anyway, when Kara drove me to buy my car back, I was hoping my car was still in one piece... judging from the neighborhood around the towing company.

About two weeks ago I was in Newark for some academic activity. After giving a talk in the university, I decided to walk around and explore a bit based on my belief that things around the campus should be better and friendlier. I also believed that there should be many cute independent small cafes or shops around the university because of the liberal mind associated with students and scholars.
Oh well... I walked at least 5 blocks and found nothing interesting. In the heart of Newark, the number of abandoned buildings revealed under the noon sun was disturbingly large. It did not feel like a city. It was almost empty. Even the people came out seeking for lunch were no more than the people in downtown South Orange.
I almost gave up and found the Coffee Cave, which was exactly what I was looking for: a coffee shop with its own character. The zucchini panini was normally good. The latte was as good as I hoped. Art works of a specific artist were on the wall. A magazine on the homosexual communities was displayed. Flyers and postcards of local events were available. I sat there happily for an hour or so. But would I go back to Newark just for sitting in the Coffee Cave? I am afraid not.

Today since the morning traffic jam, I have listened to the same radio news for at least three times until I parked my car in the evening. The news was about a celebration, apparently, or a congratulation to Newark. What happened? Oh they are celebrating the fact that there was not a single murder in March 2010, which was the first ever murder-free month since May 1966.
I was like.... but just yesterday they found two dead bodies in trash bags. Oh, yesterday was in April, so it did not count. Right.. hm... I still do not want to drive or walk or do anything in Newark if not extremely necessary. I love my life.

I wonder how much power the mayor has in an American city. What can a city government do to make a city prettier and user-friendlier? Is there any private sector who is interested in making Newark a better place to live?
The look of Newark definitely needs to be redone. The fear of being in Newark needs to be addressed and reduced. Streets are not supposed be war zones. Streets are supposed to be inviting average good-intentioned citizens and visitors, not criminals.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, out of the 70 large cities, New York is ranked the 20th with 6 murders per 100,000 population in 2007, while Newark is at the 66th with 37.1 murders. By the total of violent crimes (e.g., murder, rape, robbery), New York is at the 17th, and Newark is the 36th. Today another news piece was about bikers complaining about how unfriendly Newark is for bikers. Who would like to ride a bicycle in a city where a crime can just happen anytime any corner?
Dexter is a good TV show. Why They Kill is a very good book. However, I do not want to be so close to a city of violence in real life. A city should not be celebrating a murder-free month but be ashamed by the fact that people are living in such a danger and fear.

Stop donating money and effort to other countries, America. Help your cities and citizens first.