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August 30, 2011

Irene Weekend

On Friday at work, people were talking about Irene and how they were preparing for its arrival. A co-worker who also lived in Hoboken kindly informed me that she would stay with her relatives in South Jersey, and if I wished to park my car in her apartment building, I could go to blah blah blah. I seriously did not write down her address and let the information enter and leave my head.

My attitude to this event was the same as my attitude to the earthquake incident several days ago. Come on, that earthquake was not that terrifying in comparison to every quake I had experienced in Taiwan. And please, it's just a hurricane. Like a typhoon. Nothing to worry about.

On the second thought, however, I was worried about Hoboken. The town always got flooded if it rained more than three hours. Hoboken has the worst drainage system I've ever seen. Every time when it was flooded, my 30-minute commute could become a 2-and-half-hour journey.
So the level of my worry increased as the day went by. Before noon, the CEO announced that we had an early closing for all employees to go home and prepare for the storm. That was a really nice gesture, and I totally accepted it.
I drove back to Hoboken and carefully parked bungbung at a spot where no tree or power line was able to fall on it. And I went shopping for food.
The scene in the supermarket was quite dramatic: Half of the store was empty. With the sun and breezes in the late afternoon, people were really scared with the thought of a storm coming to starve them.

I stayed home over night, checking the news constantly. Mama and superstar called and made sure that I was alright. Superstar suggested me drive away and stay somewhere else in case Hoboken got flooded badly. Before going to bed, I decided that I would decide whether to move bungbung to a garage in the morning.
All the information I took in, however, made me sleepless. Correction: I only had six hours of sleep. I drove on the streets around 7am on Saturday and found that all the garages were full. Eventually, I parked on a street that was on the top of this hilly town and that there was no tree or power line around. I sat by the sidewalk for about 15 minutes and convinced myself that this was a good decision.
Satisfied, I went to purchase batteries and candles. I went home and waited for the storm.

I was pretty calm until a call from the mayor of Hoboken. It was her voice message telling all residents "Run for your life! Leave! If you parked your car on the street, it'll be towed." I frowned and reacted to the message: I packed and left.
Well, to tell this story more accurately, I went online to see the projected path of the hurricane and decided that I should go northwest in order to avoid it. Binghamton was just outside the path, and I know someone there. So I booked a hotel room near Binghamton and I packed and left. This move on Saturday was the start of my long Irene weekend.

Thanks to Joey, I had two dinners with a funny companion. Talking to a friend who just started his American life as a PhD student made me humble, setting me back to summer 2002... when I landed in State College, PA on Aug 13 that year, it was pouring with lots of thunders. Yes, I came into a storm with a general direction but no idea what was waiting for me. And now I'm driving around by myself in this country, trying to outrun a storm. Life is funny.
Yes, I stayed for two nights. It was crazy. When I woke up on Sunday morning, I found the power was out and the storm had successfully chased me to Binghamton. Damn broadcasting! Binghamton was supposed to be storm free! Anyway, I sat in dark with the sounds of rain and wind. Immediately I called the front desk to make sure that I was not dreaming. The front desk confirmed my fear.

I put myself together, got dressed, and went to the lobby for coffee. It was full of people running away from New Jersey or New York. In dim light, people were greeting, and children were laughing. For me, it was a good feeling that I was not in this mess alone.
A family tried to check in, but the front desk could not take them in. I felt bad: I was only one person occupying a suite with a non-functioning jacuzzi. This family of four had to wait if anyone checked out by noon. I was thinking I probably should ask if Joey could take me in.
Suddenly, the power was back! A smile immediately came to my face. Everyone was cheered up.
I went back to my room and watched all the news channels about the storm. I checked online to see if Hoboken was under water. Yes, Binghamton was flooded here and there. The river near Joey's place might crest. In Hoboken, every where but my street was flooded, meaning that there was no way for me to drive back today. The news about Hoboken also included that "live" power lines were down in the flood water, and if you walked in it, you might get electrified. It said that you should not walk outdoors or even walk your dogs at all because the flood water was so dangerous and toxic.
The more information I was receiving, the more I leaned toward the idea of staying for one more night. Before Joey could answer my request, I booked the room for another night.
I did not dare to drive outside because the news anchors and the weather reporters were telling me the town where I was staying just got 8 flood alerts and warnings. What the...  I wished Joey was alright and tried to reach him. And it turned out that he was just vacuuming his apartment and did not hear the phone ring. Oh well.

Driving back home on Monday, I enjoyed a pleasantly sunny day. Driving through the mountains at 120km/hr (80 m/h) for three hours gave me some happiness.  The scenes I drove by from New York, Pennsylvania, briefly Delaware, to New Jersey looked no trace of the hurricane. This storm did not do as much damage as I thought. I realized how Americans lived in fear induced by the media that was funded by the insurance industry. I just spent more than 300 dollars related to storm preparation, gas, and hotel rooms. I still believed that my car would have been fine at that parking spot I found for it, and that I would be safe and sound staying in my apartment for the weekend. 

However, when I approached Hoboken, I found it almost impossible to get into Hoboken. Many ramps were closed. Many roads were blocked. I did not see flood, but see police cars blocking roads.
On Tuesday back to work, the time I spent on the road doubled because of random road closure.... Arh... I hate it sometimes that over the years I actually have gained more patience, or learned helplessness, to road situations.

Here are some clips of flooded Hoboken. After viewing these, I was very glad that I drove away from it. Thank you, Mayor Zimmer.



This one is scary only for people who know what this park looked like before the storm....




Bye, Irene.


August 5, 2011

公務員般

我弟在個大公司上班一個月後的感想:像是公務員一樣。
公務員至少有兩個負面的特徵:固定的上班時間和例行的工作內容。

我朝九晚五,可是絕大多數做學術研究的人都沒有固定的「上班時間」。上班時間要上引號因為做學術研究這行業是隨時都可以工作,包括不在辦公室的時候。我經常晚上或週末在家裡工作,只是因為辦公室離我滿遠的,不然我寧願在辦公室做事。
我認識的金融業、建築業、醫療業、電子業的朋友們每天都工作至少十個小時,而且他們的業務一定要在辦公室或是家裡之外的工作場所才能執行,公務員應該不會羨慕他們。

固定的上班時間應該不是我弟抱怨的重點,應該是工作內容。重複做類似的事情的確是滿難有成就感的,要怎麼被上司賞識到然後換來多一點變化(多元的工作 = 多項工作)就看本事了。

大部分的人對別人行業的工作型態都是不了解的,可是我認為每一條路的歷程是類似的,學術研究的路跟其他行業的路沒有多大差別:定大方向 -> 起頭 -> 階段性目標達成 -> 決定要不要繼續走下去 -> 下一個階段完成 -> 遇到貴人和好時機 -> 往上爬一層換個稱謂 -> 遇到好市場,受到多方注意 -> 往上躍一層,贏了聲譽 -> 市場繼續看好 -> 往上飛一層 ->  十年後還在那裡 ->  穩座上位

這條路要走多久,看個人造化。我十五歲時就定了大方向,十八歲就起頭,二十七歲階段性目標達成,二十九歲決定要繼續走下去,希望有一天可以當教授。
Cathleen四十三歲升上教授,Toby今年應該五十歲了才升上副教授,這一切都跟學術智力無關,而是社交智慧和研究主題決定了如何走順這條路。

成功要如何衡量?往上爬的速度嗎?還是堅持下去的時間?稱謂大小嗎?聲望嗎?還是收入?
無論用哪一個衡量方式,公務員也是有機會成功的。

如果工作真的是無聊到爆,至少腦力可以空出來想想第二條路。過去十年我沒有發展任何可能的第二條路的能力,沒有時間沒有腦力,對任何事情都沒有很大熱情要做到專業。現在,我在同一個大領域做很多不同小領域的事情,不能算是第二條路,而算是衍生出來新的挑戰,公務員般朝九晚五的日子裡有滿多新的變化,各種不同小小的成就感讓我想繼續走下去。

我也有走不下去的時候,三年多前曾經有非常絕望的感覺,專業領域上的絕望,經濟上的絕望,語言能力上的絕望,私人情感上的絕望,越想越覺得自己在美國甚至回台灣都不可能有什麼前途的。可是我撐過去了,花了兩年時間寫了三次的研究經費終於拿到了,剛好也過完薪水悲慘的博士後研究員生活,人開朗了,什麼事情似乎都又有了希望。「撐下去」三個字是很多人沒有辦法做到,但是有的時候就是成功的原因。我還沒成功啦,但是也還沒失敗,正在祈求"遇到好市場,受到多方注意"的那個里程碑。

如果用結果來定義成功,那麼我的路可能要走很久,可能比 Toby 久。所以過程開不開心很重要,慢慢來沒關係,我選擇住在Hoboken,不再在太陽下山後就提心吊膽或是無所事事;我選擇把時間優先權給班比和麻嗎,晚上周末做不完的事情,第二天還是可以做的;我選擇散步慢跑瑜珈,不要醒著的時間都盯著電腦或是開著車。

除了那兩個負面的特徵,公務員這個詞還有一個特徵,但是對我來說不是負面的。安定是我喜歡的,安定是一種外象的狀態也是一種心境。我知道我的定位,我的責任,我做得到和做不到的事情;我知道我是什麼角色,我可以是什麼角色,我可以讓別人認為我是什麼角色;我知道薪水每兩個禮拜會發下來,我知道我一年有二十五天的假。

如果用幸福感來定義成功,目前我是比每天做例行事務的公務員來的成功。
(還好我不認識任何公務員。。。)