newlyweds

A co-worker went back to India for 3 weeks and brought back a wife.
Let's call this Indian Avik, which is not his real name, and his wife Sil, whose real name I have no idea.

Avik met Sil 4 years ago.
He liked her. She liked him.
That was a short visit for Avik. Soon, he came "back" to the States for his continuing education and work.
Avik and Sil kept in touch via email and phone calls. In the meantime, their parents were looking for their future spouses. In the meantime, they were negotiating with their parents to marry them.
Sil's parents gave permission at some point, but Avik's had not. So a few months ago, Sil's parents decided not to wait for Avik anymore and started again to look for a husband for Sil.
Avik was afraid that Sil's parents would get her married before Avik could convince his parents to allow him to marry Sil. Therefore, he flew back and sorted it out and brought Sil as his wife back to the States.

We were not totally surprised or offended by the fact that Avik had not informed us beforehand about his newlywed status.
All of us have a friend in this kind of story or at least have heard about this kind of story: Usually it happens with an Indian or a Chinese. They go back home and come back to the States with a spouse whom none of their friends in the States were aware of.

"How was the wedding?" A co-worker asked.
"No, we did not have a wedding. We simply registered. I believe in marriage, not wedding." Avik said, "It hurt our parents, but I also believe that I should decide for myself who would be my life partner and how I would celebrate my new married status."

I had never heard him say that much.
That was a great speech.

The lab manager came from India too. Her name will not be revealed until next January. She is leaving the company! Good for her! Let's call her Nyla.
Anyway, one day she asked me whether Taiwanese people have the concept of dating like Americans.
Well... sort of.
Taiwan is very Americanized in many regards because a lot of people get higher education or grow up in the States, and because the mainstream media has been following CNN as the only source of international news, and because Hollywood movies are always playing in most of the cinemas and on cable TV.
However, Taiwanese dating is not as casual as American dating. After a certain age, Taiwanese people date for possible marriage, not for fun. Americans seem to date and keep options open for long until they get "engaged". Taiwanese people usually skip the step of engagement.
Basically, in Taiwan if a couple's parents meet each other, the couple is likely to be a married couple soon.

Nyla has lived in the States for many years. She and her husband are about my age. They got married from their parents' arrangement and approval. They have two lovely boys.
Nyla never dated. She sort of had some romantic feeling to a guy years ago in one conversation. But her parents did not like him so she did not keep in touch with him and she felt heartbroken afterwards.
"I don't understand dating. It must be hard. I could get heart broken just after one conversation of emotional involvement. How can people keep dating and heartbreaking so many times before they get married?" Nyla asked. I smiled and did not even provide a short answer. I don't know. I like falling in love and dislike heartbreaking. But heartbreaking experience does not stop me from falling in love again. Dating is a door open to falling in love, which I like.

Nyla told me that she will match her boys with nice Indian girls when the time comes.
I was like... wow. It may not be easy for Nyla to keep her boys from the American culture if they keep living here.
Nit is a second generation of Indian American. He is a postdoc working in the company. His family is much cooler. His brother married a white girl. His parents are not pushing him to get married. I wish Nyla's boys would be like Nit one day -- free to think and to act.

I am happy for Avik and Sil. Their parents eventually will forgive them. Parents want their children to be happy. Kim said they will definitely forgive them when grandchildren are born.
Congrats, newlyweds!