tango on.....

Let's start to say goodbye to 2007.
I don't like this year much. But it still has happened.
Tango on and on and on and on to the next year, to the next better year~~~~

What great shoes, Damian and Julz! And of course, what awesome performances!

Keeping moving on has been a very important element of this year.
Every now and then, I tell myself "Everything's gonna be alright. You can do it. Move on."

Last night, however, I hit the bottom of depression.
If you've known me for more than three years or if you've read my old Chinese website about the car accident story, you may understand my terrified mood last night.
Right, Bungbung got out of my control and hit the curb on the passenger side. Very similar story line except that this time the culprit is the snow, which does not make any better mentally because my horrified driving-in-and-on-snow experience earlier this year.
That is, my mentality got double shot at one minor hit-the-curb accident.
The accident led to ... I don't know yet. I'm waiting for the bodyshop to give me a quote. The steering wheel and the wheels are not quite talking to each other normally.

My hands were shaking last night.
I hid in bed from nothing but reality.
No tears. Just my cold body. I don't know why I felt soooo cold.
After probably an hour, I convinced myself that I was calm enough and I had to move on with my life and I needed human contact.
Thanks to Jason and Nat. I met them online. They brought some of my confidence back.
And again, my dear mama, who is always there for me. I couldn't help but cry when hearing her voice. This was the first time I felt so lonely since living alone.

Friends are throwing me a birthday cozy party.
Milongas are happening more frequently than usual because of the end of the year.
I will feel better. I am already feeling better.
A gift was delivered when I was sitting home this morning waiting for the tow truck.
Nice things were written on my Facebook wall.
Important documents were sent to me by my co-worker.
Life is not so bad. I can still breathe and smile. And tango :)

My list of top ten wishes? Yup, I promised to make the list.
Let me make it personal so that means something to the selfish me.

10. To sort out the entire car thing with little effort (well... much effort has been taken for the past two months actually)

9. To lose weight (haha.... it's always on my wish list. I want my face to lose weight especially. Ask me again about my email address? You may if you don't laugh.)

8. To be involved in the HR department (this is not very likely to happen, but I still want to make a wish to hire some real cool and smart geek into the IT department)

7. To receive an award (I have been working hard and I think I may deserve something)

6. To write people who rarely reply (there are two people particular in my mind)

5. To meet dear best Taiwan friends and Mika in March (yes, girls, I am talking about you. If my budget is not eaten up by the car fixing, this wish should be able to come true.)

4. To know that mama is in great health and happiness (she prefers me to be physically closer to her, which is only thing I cannot promise her. But other than that, I will do anything possible to make her happy.)

3. To see a/the sunny boy again (I need sunshine in my life.)

2. To get a real job, not a fellowship ("real" means an H-1 visa)

1. To move into the city (anywhere with a great tango community and a great public transportation and diverse cultures)

Tango, yoga, movies, and making friends are not on the list because they are not wishes. They are on my to-do list. Things that I don't have fully conscious control are on the wish list.

I'm almost ready to welcome 2008. Just give me 4 more days. And I am tangoing and moving on to it.