shout from water

No more fMRI before the end of 2008.
This is my decision.

How much can I push this project? I have priorities too, tall guy.
Alright, this project has been there before I came to the research center. I was very excited that tall guy was going to resubmit the proposal so that I might be able to see the superior colliculus getting hot in front of me. Right, I did see it. Because I pushed tall guy to scan some healthy people and to get some nice pilot data in the proposal. But the pilot project kinda died after our connection in the medical school decided to be unhappy about his career and life and everything in general and left. He left without a word to me. How uncool was that? I called and emailed him thousand times. His voice mail box was always full so that I could not leave a message. His cellphone was always unanswered so that I could not know if he ever used it. His email was as useless as his cellphone. Tall guy made excuses for him: He was really unhappy now.
So?

So I pushed again. I pushed tall guy all the way to UPenn. That was summer. UPenn doctors were lovely. They liked the project and immediately asked us to email them a proposal so that they would let us play with their scanner. They would give us money! Oh, the research center is always hungry for money. No money, no research. No research, no money.
Weeks later, there was no proposal, so I pushed tall guy again: Hey, where is the proposal?
He did not do anything. So I did. I trimmed the original 15-page proposal into a 3-page. He made some edittings and submitted it without knowing any rules from the UPenn side or from our research center side. So the proposal got puked back. He re-did it as if someone owed him something.
Finally, the proposal went there. It seemed like money would come anytime or we could go there scanning people anytime. Yeah, seemed like.
Weeks after, I popped a question: Do we need to apply for an IRB there?
Tall guy said: Yeah... we do. Can you whip up an IRB application here and then base on it to do a UPenn IRB?

What? Can I? I can but I will not. We means you and me, not just me.
I know I am capable to do things and to do things well. But I am not your b*tch. Man, this is your project. You are the PI. You have not paid me anything or recognizd me in anyway since I got myself involved for the sake that I love the idea of the project. You know, love can be killed too.
You wanna play it slow? Let's play it slow. I am fully occupied, and I found my priorities which do not include your stuff.
You say I rock. Hey, I know I rock and do not suck up your laziness anymore.
Do your own IRB. I am busy.


I am a proud little fish flying in the big ocean, yelling up to the land called reality, yelling up to the tall guy whose ears are so far away and so not receiving correct sound waves passing water and air. All I can do is to shout at him here and be passive until the next time the urge of my push comes again: Hey, are we going to do the project or not?