car thing - part 3

Please read car thing - part 1 and part 2 before reading the following part 3.


IV. Icy Road

The grant submission deadline was Jan 16. As the holidays came closer, I got more nervous about the progression of the writing. People would be off during holidays. No one would review my application. No one would write recommendation letters on time.
Hence, I pushed my boss hard to read my drafts. The same 2-page long Specific Aims was written 8 times. The same 3-page long Background and Significance was revised 9 times. I wrote day and night. Day and night, I battled with myself about whether I should battle with my boss.

I went to Manhattan for a long weekend from Friday night to Tuesday (Dec 21 to 25) with a depressed mood.
Friends, Yang et al., were around. They tried cheering me up. We did things and tangoed. But I decided to go to work on Dec 26.

I went to work on Dec 26. My boss and I had a good discussion on a section of writing. So I stayed until 7pm for revision.
I was the last person in the building when leaving.
It was snowing lightly. The temperature was very low. The ground was icy. I walked to my car.
Slowly I drove out of the parking lot and made a left turn to the next parking lot in our research center campus. But the car did not turn.
Bungbung kept going straight and hit the curb.
It bounced back, and I felt my heart had just skipped a beat.

I was terrified.
Long ago, I had a car accident. The impact happened to the passenger side too. My first beetle Lilo was totaled. Since then, I have been traumatized. I cannot even bear to see car accident scenes in movies.
Not long ago, I had the most horrible snow driving trip. This trip was the reason why I hate driving in snow.

The slight hit at the curb reminded me of both unpleasant events. I sat in the car for a few seconds before getting out to see if there was any damage.
It snowed harder now. I could not see any serious damage. But the wheel hub was gone to the dark. I decided not to search for it.
I got back into the car and pulled the steering wheel straight.

Straightening the steering wheel did not make the car go straight. In order to go straight, the steering wheel had to be turn to the left for 45 degrees. At the moment I realized it, my hands started shaking.
What should I do? I asked myself.
Call 911? No, they would want to see my registration card, which I did not have.
Call a towing company? I did not know any number.
Call Kim? She was in Pittsburgh for the Xmas vacation.
I decided to drive home with both flashes on.

The journey had to go through South Mountain Reservation, meaning that the road was curving and bumpy. Plus it was icy now. Plus the steering wheel did not control the car properly.
My hands were shaking and my head was spinning.

I made it.
I found the dealer's number first thing getting in my apartment. The receptionist told me I could call them tomorrow at 7:30am, but she could not arrange any service for me now.

I tried to pretend everything was alright. But I could not even talk to myself. "Calm down. Breathe." did not run through my head. So I hid in bed from everything, from myself, from my head, from anything that could make me even lonelier. I felt cold and lonely.
Everyone was so far away from me. Zabeth was in Germany. Alex was in California. Jason was in China. Mama was in Taipei. Kim was in Pittsburgh. I needed a hug so badly.
I cried when hearing mama's voice on skype. She calmed me down.
I set a goal that night: I have to move into a city where everyone is with everyone, and where driving is not necessary.
I always have this goal. But that night, the goal was urgent. It felt like if now I moved into a city, everything would be alright.

I called the dealer in the morning at 7:31pm. They sent a towing truck in 3 hours. I rode with the truck and saw Bungbung for the last time in 2007.
The body shop guy seemed very professional and friendly to me. I got good feelings.
"Is rental covered?" Everyone asked me the same question.
"No." was my answer to everyone.
I did not think I would need it when buying the insurance policy.
Renting a car now was silly because in 24 hours I was going to Manhattan for my birthday and New Year Day. But it would not hurt to ask about it, so I walked to the rental car company right beside the body shop.
As I calculated, it was not worthy to rent a car over the weekend. A guy from the rental gave me a ride to the train station, and I went home, starting my carless life.

Well... the body shop could have fixed Bungbung in one day if I paid out of my pocket.
But the cost could go so high that I went broke.
So Geico the insurance company would be involved. They needed 6 business days for simply assigning a person to take a look at my car to decide the cost.
Dec 27 was the day I called Geico, but this day was not counted. So from Dec 28, the sixth business day would be Jan 7.
Guess what, the Geico person did not go take a look at my car until Jan 7. That is, not until 12 days later, did the repair start.

At least, I stopped worrying about where to park without a registration card on Jan 1.


V. Housemate

I had great time on my birthday. The weekend went well with tango and MoMA.
But my mind was not at ease. The car thing haunted me all the time.
I came back to South Orange on Dec 31, contemplating how I was going to get around without a car.
Ten blocks away from my place was a rental car branch. They told me it would cost me about one to two hundred per week for rental. I reserved a car for Jan 2.
While walking back home, I called Kim for saying Happy New Year. She was having a great family time. I briefly told her about my loss.
She immediately suggested me stay in her place over night. And many other nights followed.

I moved in for weekdays so I could go to work with her.
I was sent back home for weekends so I could go tango from South Orange Train Station.
I was picked up on Sundays so I could carry my small luggage to Kim's house for the week.

One day she was so ill that she could not work but stayed in bed. But she stilled drove me to work. That evening, she asked her husband to pick me up from work.
One Sunday, she picked me up back to her place. Her husband made fried rice for dinner. He was nervous to make Asian food for me. As long as he did not claim it was Chinese food, and as long as the food he made was good, I was totally fine and happy that someone was cooking for me.
After dinner, Kim asked me to close my eyes for her mysterious dessert.
She baked a birthday cake for me. It was a week after my birthday, and I had a happy belated birthday because of her.
Not just a cake, she gave me two presents. These presents were on my wish list for the Secret Santa party in December. But my secret santa lost my note, and he gave me something else. It was no big deal. It was just a fun game we played at work.
But I was totally moved that Kim remembered it.
We were like a family. I was like a child.
(Feeling like a child somehow is not foreign to me at all.)

Every night, before going to bed, I asked her when we would get out of the house because her schedule was not as regular as mine.
Every evening, she worked later than me, and kept working later than me after dinner because being a physician is not an easy job.
Millie, the lab secretary, joked that Kim was like my mother, taking me everywhere. Yeah, I depended on her not only for transportation but also for great company.

I felt like I found another Alex or Zabeth in New Jersey. Someone who I can really be myself around her. Someone who really can be herself around me. Someone who does not mind taking care of me. I felt loved.


(... to be continued)