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March 18, 2009

what's up

"How are you doing?"
"Good. Nothing to complain about." My answer surprised myself.

Really. Nothing to complain about. I am not stressed out for writing a grant, a paper, a cover letter for job application, a PhD dissertation, a comp question, a note for exam preparation, a homework essay, or a line of affection for someone I secretly dreamed.
I am relatively healthy too. Two bottles of Chinese-medicine cream suppress the dry and itchy symptoms of my hands. My knee is doing better after correcting myself from over-extending. I sleep well and long enough everyday. I eat well and probably too much for my slowing metabolism.
Social life and love life are good. I really have nothing major to complain about.
It feels weird that I am not anxious.

It does.
I have nothing to update my friends. I return to my listener role as previously when I never talked about myself. Back then, I simply refused to open up, but now I really have nothing much to say. What a boring me.
Of course there are some isolated episodes that could be something I could chat about. Things like yesterday I spent almost one hour persuading a person to do his job. The trade was if I wrote a thank-him letter to his boss, he would send things I requested immediately.
"Hey, dude. This is supposedly your job. You want me to compliment you to your boss for doing your job? Seriously?" No, I did not say so. I nodded to the phone and agreed. Because of his strong accent, it took me extra minutes to spell his and his boss's names correctly. I composed a nice letter and faxed it to him.

Things like a research assistant who I sometimes had happy hour with is leaving to attending a med school in Nebraska.
Things like Jenny came to me and joked about how I never replied to her email that actually was not asking for my help.
Things like a big boss was ok enough with me by saying his underwear was green on St. Patrick's Day although he did not wear anything green noticeable.
Things like tedious administrative things needing my attention, which is currently quite ok to give.
Things like doing dishes and laundries.

Nothing serious is up.
This feels weird.
I have not felt this way for a long long time. I am not anxious or excited. Things are going pretty smoothly.

In the same time, people around me are having or about to have life-changing things.
Superstar is deciding what to do with his professional life.
A medical doctor, volunteering in my lab for about 6 months now, from India got matched as a resident doctor in the US.
Two co-workers announced they are pregnant and due in the same month. One friend admitted to me that she and her husband are trying to get pregnant.
A cousin is getting married in 10 days.
A friend is recovering from a surgery removing his gall bladder.
Another friend is going on gluten-free diet for sure forever.

I am sitting here and feel ... peaceful and ... nice. I am in the state of baseline.
Today is a nice day.
I wish I have a nice day tomorrow too. I wish you too.
Or something better than nice is up, so that I will say "Great!" instead "Good."

What's up?



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hmm.....interesting...who is the "someone" you secretly dreamed??!

Anonymous said...

This is really good to know. You are well, you are at peace, you are in a state of STABILITY.

I am glad. Really, really glad. Hope this goes on for a while.