shitty day

It is one of those days that I feel like shit, and I should have just stayed in bed the entire day.
However, it does not just happen today. It has been a process piling up shitty things, and boom today I got hit.

Let's blame the weather first. This summer is so unbearable. Roasted in the car. Frozen in the office. Burned under the sun. Drowsy under the shade. My hermit crab Bully 小霸王 was found bathing in the water dish when I came home today.
I usually did not mind the heat. But I did not sleep enough last night, and I am going through those days when the stomach area is cranky. My head feels spinning. A few hours ago I was wondering whether it was really a good idea driving 40 minutes to see a patient. I decided to give a try.

I liked this patient. He made me feel that I am doing something important. I did not want to re-schedule him or stand him up. If I did, he would have taken it very personally and depressed. When a person is so smart and successful professionally, he/she easily gets depressed after a stroke. This patient was a successful man, and his weight symbolizes his wealth. I arrived there and found nurse aides to transfer him from bed to chair. It took four people and a lifting machine to complete the transfer. At this point, I could not back up and have to give it a try unless everyone's effort was wasted. A smile was always on my face, covering my cosmetic-free expression.
I took the patient to a big room with sunshine. The session started. After 30 minutes, he was so frustrated by his performance that he got a headache and he wished not to continue. I respected his decision and calmed him down. He kept apologizing to me, and I kept saying that it was alright.

I keep saying to many people that everything is alright. Earlier today my assistant dropped me a news, and I smiled and accepted it and could not help but begin to plan the next step. My boss threw me "suggestions", and I replied with "thank you and I will definitely do them." The to-do list is getting longer, and ... ha! I just thought of something, and opened up the work email, and sent a message to follow up a project. My head is so occupied with work and headache. I tell myself that everything is alright.

It is one of those shitty days that I feel shitty but I cannot show it. I could not even roll my eyes... I am toooo nice. Damn. Even the paying machine did not sense a touch... and made the easy 4-item purchase at the Eden Garden feel like waiting in line in a Walmart. Damn the headache and everything makes it worse!
Oh, everything will be alright.


p.s. Hermit crabs were fighting last night. Bauy 小寶 the new guy and the smallest (half size of the others) was threatened by Tiger 小虎, who was intimidated by Bully 小霸王. I watched them too late. They were amazing creatures. Perhaps they felt shitty too, being trapped in a transparent tank where the outside world looks so big but they cannot reach it.