that's not right

Ms. research-center Librarian center walked to my cube and handed me a message.
She was upset that she could not print out articles for me by using my medical-school account, which I had reluctantly given her.
After 10 minutes of yeah-I-got-your-point-please-go-away chatting with her, I went to the "remote access" library website of the medical school and found the exact message shown to me by Ms. Librarian. I called the medical school IT department.
"If you want to report a problem, please press 1." I did.
A woman picked up the phone with an unmistakable sound of yawning.
"Hi, I..."
"Hold on."
She was like: "I don't care what you ask me to do. Just wait."
After two jazz songs flowing from the phone receiver, I had the following conversation with an IT of the medical school. He is the most helpful IT I've ever encountered.

Pei: Hi, I don't have access to online libraries. I had it for a year, but now it just doesn't work.
IT: What message do you see?
Pei: Authentication concern.
IT: Concern?
Pei: Yes.
IT: What concern?
Pei: Authentication concern. It's the title of the message.
IT: Um... (he must've been saying "interesting") What else do you see?
Pei: The message says that because of the popularity of my last name, the system denies access to all users who have the same last name.
IT: That is not right!
Pei: I know.
IT: The costumer gets a message saying the system denies her access because of her last name. (he must've been typing down everything I'm saying to him while unconsciously reading out every word he typed) What else does it say?
Pei: It asks me to use a CORE account, which I have no idea what that is.
IT: What is your last name?
Pei: xxxx.
IT: First name?
Pei: xxxx
IT: First name again?
Pei: xxxx
IT: No... I don't find you.
Pei: Try xxx-x
IT: I don't see information about you in the system.
Pei: You want to try my A number ("A" number is like an ID number). It is xxxxxxxxx.
IT: Ok, I got you. You do have a CORE account.
Pei: I do?
IT: Let me give it to you.
(one minute later)
Pei: Thanks. It works now.
IT: Now I am going to set a profile for you. Which department do you work for? Which campus? Building? Alright, now, you have a profile in the system. You should've had one long time ago.
Pei: Really? Do you think I should set up an email account?
IT: That's a good idea. Let me transfer you to xxxx.

I loved it when he said "That is not right!"
A lot of things happening in the IT world is so wrong, and an IT rarely admits it. This guy is definitely one of the coolest ITs in the world, unlike Mr. M.
He really cared about me. I felt taken care of. All ITs in the world should take this I-take-care-of-people attitude as their responsibility and ultimate everyday goal.

As to my names, I don't know how to complain about them anymore. First and last. Whatever. It is not my fault that you can't pronounce them correctly. It is not my fault that you can't spell them correctly. It is definitely not my fault that they indeed are popular.
You fix your system. Don't ask me to change my names.

i heart ...

While collecting pictures (from tens of different cameras), I am recollecting each moment of this trip -- weekend of July 27.

Chicago remains as beautiful as or becomes more beautiful than my last visit.
Different from last time, I laughed and danced a lot this time.

I didn't dance tango, actually.
Dear tango dancer Ray, who emailed me worth-going milongas and called for managing transportation for me, even though he and I had never met. I didn't meet him, still. Now he must be disappointed and decide not to include me in his tango connection. Oh, well... sometimes there are things more important than tango.
Out of expectation, I danced and had greatest fun in a wedding! Everyone wanted to keep on dancing when Mr. Deejay played the last song. Everyone, including great grandmas and single-digit-year-olds and of course all the generations in between. Rarely, I enjoyed dancing in a wedding reception than on a tango dance floor. It was the people who make the difference.

Rose and Zach were awesome! Their friends were awesome! I had been a bit worried that I would not have fun by the fact that I would be one of the only two guests who know Rose for less than a life time.
Love and happiness and joy. This couple effortlessly spreads positive feelings to everyone around them.

Rose&Zach's W-day

First of all, I could not believe Zach was such a hip dancer!!! All the floor moves. All the foot works. Oh, he's the man. Who would've thought the previously zen-practicing Zach could move like that?
His people, who invited me and Liu to their table once noticing two random Asians possessing alcohol for an entire table, were also great party creatures! I loved them. They rescued us from lonely Table 10 to fun-making Table 9.

Second of all, as I have always adored Rose, I adore her even more now. She was totally the queen of her own party! I've been to non-Chinese weddings. But the brides were usually being much more quiet than usual and not showing their true selves. Rose ruled and rocked for the entire night. She was also a good dancer. Her people were great helpers for the entire thing. They well controlled or trouble-shot everything.

Third of all, the ceremony in the church was a nice culture lesson. They did a lot of readings and prayers for various reasons. Candles and songs. Holy blood and body. Details were taken care of.
The priest told a story, which was supposed to link love and relationship.... but I personally could not appreciate it. Dear Priest, please practice more about that story telling. Not engaging and too corny. Even though you lived in Tokyo for 30 years and wrote Chinese characters pretty well, I could not give you a preferring nod on that speech.

Away from the paradise for single people (NYC), I realized that I hit the age of having more married friends than single ones. To make the case stronger, even my new friends are in fact mostly married or engaged, rather than being single.
At Table 9, everyone was married or engaged. One exception was Ms. S.
"She would definitely say yes if he proposed, even though a voice in her head actually has tried very hard to break her up from him." This was what I thought when Ms. S shared her story about her 7-yr relationship.
It's written on her face saying "Marry me." She was the most physically attractive person of the night. Her personality was shining too. But she was under a cloud. Her careless appearance was not convincing in front of my eyes. She wants to be certain if the relationship is going somewhere more promising.
I wish she will find her light somehow.
Look at Rose and Zach! Are you happy like them? Are you the best friend of his? Can you be so yourself in front of him? Is him being himself in front of you? Being in a wedding can make one see things much more clearly.

Some time ago, an ex went to a wedding of his good friends. He realized he would never feel as happy or as in love with anyone.
That was when I learned a necessary life experience called heartbrokenness. Thank him for that. That I experienced it before getting too old to recover.

I could see the sky between Chicago Tribune and Wrigley Building with eyes closed.
I could smell the summer breeze from the Chicago River with the hot humid Jersey air.
I could hear myself laughing and dancing in streets of Chicago with the noise around my cubicle.
What a beautiful city!
What a great wedding!

Now I just came back from the city -- Manhattan -- from a dinner in the west village. I know where I belong.
Like that bird, standing on the sky, praising Chicago but not actually participating in it because her heart is somewhere else.


See you next time in November, dear Chicago.

night with thunder and lightning

Last night, when my head was aching like hell, a sound of thunder threw a bolt into my head.

Lightnings are amazing, but they are my favorite stuff in nature. My worse memory of them is when I drove from Chicago to Iowa City. Oh my..

I was like, FINE.
I turned off the computer and tried to find peace in the Child Pose. Another thunder hit the air, loudly enough to deafen poor squirrels to death. Most traumatically, I could not find peace in yoga.
According to my experience and belief, my illness came from the fact that I did not have coffee all day yesterday.

Therefore, the best way to get over it is to follow the steps:
Sleep for 10 hours.
Have coffee right after a wakening shower.
Focus on exciting things --- such as looking for a job.

Done. Headache is gone.
And Liu sent me a link, through which I don't find comfort. Why do I want to kiss the rain? Or squeeze a blue-heart-shaped balloon to explosion? Destructive traits are not in my blood.
Instead, last night reminds me of a song I listened a loooooot when I was in university. I basically ruined the CD because of listening to it too much. I liked all the songs except for "Angeline" in that album called "I'm OK."
Anyway, here it is:

special weddings

They are both tripple extra small sized.
They both have long black hair.
They both got married in the absence of their family.
They both wore their hair down and long on the back at the wedding.
They both had me witnessing their beautiful special day of life.

They: CY, my high school classmate and my grad school roommate; Y, my weekend roommate.

In the woods near our rented house (where I called home for three years), CY & Dave got married in 2005. It was a hot summer day. I could feel sweat dripping down my back to heel.
Tears were cooling my face.

In the city hall of Manhattan (where I feel like home), Y & Y got married in 2008. It was a hot summer day. I could feel sweat in the air. The AC was working in the city hall. Champaign was cooling everyone's soul.

No matter what my view is on marriage, the wedding itself is always so spiritual -- touching the core of my heart. It is even more so when there's no religious or cultural tradition involved: the fact that two people decide to make a vow of forever (in addition to being claimed as a couple by the government) in such a simplest way is very spiritual.

They are so in love.
That moment defines forever.
The legal part of it is just a socialized way of publicizing their commitment which does not need a license for its existence and certainty.

I don't believe that one needs the other half to be completed. People who believe this may make their lives too difficult and always in a search. Feeling incomplete is just a depressing idea that makes one in a low self esteem. An independent individual can feel so incomplete because of this belief. How upsetting! Don't believe it and get a life.

I believe that one can complete oneself by oneself. Two complete people can have a great life together. One can live without one's love of life, just less happier. Since we are a creature pursuing happiness, we prefer to live with our love of life. With this belief system, I pursue my happiness with a happy attitude.

After Ching's wedding, I am happy that I don't have such a big family like hers. But I do have a strong-personality grandma, who will definitely want to have her way if I ever get married. The good thing is that my cousin is getting married next year. Grandma will soon have this wedding fun to torture the newlyweds. She may stop nagging Mama about me now but increase the nagging volume right after the cousin is taken. Luckily Mama has a strong personality too, and even more luckily Mama is on my side.
One thing for sue is that I will not take the somehow-has-become-tradition wedding pictures in professionally fake scenarios created in a photo studio. No one is allowed to get so drunk that ruins my natural high. Jazz music is the background. If I can get a wood floor, tango will be the theme.

Miranda of SATC had one of my ideal weddings: in a garden with a warm-but-not-hot autumn color.
CY & Dave's was great but I would prefer to do it in fall rather than summer.
Y&Y's was great too but I would prefer to do it around sunset instead of sunrise.




Congrats! Muffin and the Pig. --- From the amazing postdoc, Pei von Babyfat

暖灰色 - 我的顏色

在暖灰色寄給胚他的一號作品時，他還沒有個名字。
看了以下這一篇之後，
總編胚說 ：「你的名字叫做暖灰色，就這樣決定了。」

-------------------------------

有一天的一個晚上
跟一個很好的朋友 還有他的姐姐 還有他姐姐的一個朋友
沒有預期的在東區的巷子裡的一個Bar有了短暫的邂逅
本來已經走了
後來聽到有好喝的啤酒 配合當天整個心情 很被誘惑的滾回去了

事情是 後來好朋友說姐姐的朋友說我很Cute
於是 我想了一想可愛 這個形容詞
長大以後 對自己現階段的好跟壞越來越清楚
溫暖 舒服 自在 可愛 (如果不會跟不Man扯上關聯的話)
當別人對我的第一印象有這幾個字眼出現的時候
我是覺得開心的

我希望 不管到什麼年紀 什麼階段
我都能帶給 在我周圍親近的人們 這樣的顏色

事實是
現在稍微外面一點的人
或許看到我的色調是冷冷的灰色
最近甚至發現 是刺人的黑色

我的暖色系 被一圈很厚的層次包在裡面