President Ma

Mama told me that there are lots of voices asking President Ma to resign because of the natural disaster on the Father's Day. She said that even CNN has reported greatly on this issue. She felt shameful that Taiwan's President is making a joke internationally.

First of all, CNN does not represent international news. It is sad that Taiwan takes CNN as the main source of international news. It simply represents a voice from America. It is also sad that CNN's coverage seems to have greater effects than any local news channels in Taiwan. With more than five news channels running repeated news 24/7, viewers believe if CNN covers something, the something must be what CNN tells you what something should be. It is very sad that people believe what a news channel wants them to believe.

Second of all, I doubt if there is more than 30% of Americans watching news at all. Of these people, probably 30% of them watch CNN. Kimberly watches CNN every day, but she did not know anything about Taiwan's debate on President Ma until I told her over today's dinner. Therefore, I do not believe that a few pieces of foreign coverages on Taiwan by CNN have made Taiwan an international joke. As Kim put it honestly, Americans are very self-absorbed and they have many many issues in their own countries these days. No one would care about Taiwan or whether President Ma should resign. After Hurricane Katrina in 2005, President Bush, who did a little more than nothing, still held his position until last year. Katrina caused countless people lost their home, and was one of the deadliest natural disaster in American history. But no one asked the stupid Bush to get out of his office. Therefore, a poll conducted by CNN saying President Ma should leave is simply a media-biased viewer-catching technique. Americans do not care who is the President of a country other than their own, Kim said.

Third, I felt worried that Mama allows the TV on and watches news more than once every day. It is so not necessary. Taiwan is such a small place, and much news "shown" on TV is not worth a viewer's time. It just makes people think that Taiwan is a trouble-making island, and everything is out of order, and one should live in fear.

President Ma and officers related to rescue and recovery for the Typhoon did need to take responsibilities. They should apologize to the people, which they did. They should start to learn how to speak politically encouraging as if they are experts in public relation, which they have great space for improvement. They should understand that they are dealing with people who have rights to vote, and psychology is a much useful subject to master than bureaucracy. Making people happy and providing a sense of security to people will earn more trust than governing the country silently with little communication (or advertisement).

So You Wanna See TOUGH?

Oh my... idiots...
so so so funny

partner assessment

Superstar likes to say “the world does not exist once I die.” For him, the world is entirely dependent on his mind; the truth is what he perceives; the action is all in his head. Or put it the other way: the world is mind-dependent.

First, I find it personally disturbing. It is upsetting information that he believes that I do not exist when all his sensory and memory systems get turned off. Let me hope that I am in his mind, so that I will exist again when he thinks of me. While he does not think of me, I will dissolve into the nothingness.

Second, as a scientific theorist, I do not buy his theoretical belief. For me, the world is independent from my mind. My mind simply represents the world. When I die, the earth will keep revolving around the sun, but I can no longer know about it because the representational system – mind – has stopped functioning. That is, his existence has nothing to do with my existence. While I do not think of him, he will not dissolve into the nothingness, but it means that I simply have no currently active representation of him.

See the huge obstacle in our relationship? We are cognitive psychologists holding very different theories of mind. He is a self-absorbed carefree player, and I am an individualizing observant enthusiast.

He does not care about issues that have bothered me for the greater good of our planet and the human race, both of which will disappear once he dies anyway. He uses energy saving appliances and re-uses all kinds of materials because he is by nature a Hakka. He keeps glass bottles and cans for his collection of wine bottles and coke cans. He eats junk food because he can never get fat and is very convinced that he’s perfectly healthy.

However, everyone loves Superstar. The compliments I have received about him from my friends include adjectives such as loving, caring, warm, sensitive, sensible, and down-to-earth. People are telling me that he is a great find and definitely a keeper as if I myself had done a wonderful job involving him in my life. Is it true that I am the only person in the world could actually feel his aloofness?
His aloofness is all about his happiness. He has no worries at present. He has no shadows from the past. He has no anxiety about the future.
He is, in a word, abnormal.

Nat once asked me why I never dated someone normal. I would like to ask her the same question.
Perhaps Superstar is indeed as normal as a boy his age/his background can be, but I believe he is not, so that I can perfectly convince myself to be with him as often as I want to.
I am, too, abnormal.
For him, perhaps I am as normal as a girl my age/my background can be, and he believe I am, so that he can perfectly convince himself to be with me as often as he wants to.

See another obstacle between him and I? I believe he is abnormal so I think I would never quite understand him, which is totally fine with me. All I want is to be happy with him and to make him happy with me. Love is simple.
However, he believes I am normal so he thinks he should be able to understand or has already understood me, which if not successful, would be totally a disaster for him. All he wants is to be happy with me and to make me happy with him. Love is simply complicated.
As a result, I appear light-headed and detached, and he appears understanding and loving.

I would now conclude with a shrug. He would want much more clarified arguments on his assessment. But this is my blog. I have the final say or shrug. He doesn't care things not existing in his head, and he is abnormal. Fine, he is loving, caring, warm, sensitive, sensible, and down-to-earth. Whatever. End of discussion.

續，雨裡

下班前，Naureen沒趕回辦公室，她出車禍了。人沒事，打個電話來報平安。
她出車禍的路段就是我昨天提到的地方，而這路段今天可是誇張的大塞車，雙向都有車禍之外，從進紐約的兩個隧道 口回堵十幾英哩，天氣又灰灰陰陰悶悶燥燥的，人就是很難爽快。不開冷氣的話，四周廢氣的熱弄得窗外起霧，開冷氣的話，我的手又容易冰冷。停比走的時間多，我就狂抹乳液護手。

塞了一個多小時慢慢的過了最擁擠的幾個路段之後，天早已經陰的不耐煩了，四周突然整個變白，像是下過大風雪一般，我除了只看到正前方的車燈外，就是慘白的背景，建築物和路樹都不見了，橫在我和慘白背景之間的是水幕，這回可以是我第一次使用雨刷的最高速，卻也刷不盡雨水，敢不上洩洪般的雨量，從未在雨天開車這麼害怕過，像是在下大雪的夜裡開車一樣神經緊繃，所有車都放慢速度，都不敢切換車道，有秩序到了極點。真的是超車誠可貴，車險價更高。出一次車禍的代價就是三年的昂貴汽車保險。

快到家的時候就是接近哈德遜河的時候，風速之急，雨注全是橫向的打，路樹街燈搖搖晃晃不說，停在我正前方的等紅燈的休旅車也被水平打擊的雨撞得搖搖晃晃，我踩緊煞車握緊方向盤，希望寄託在幫幫厚重的底盤。
然後連續看到兩條閃電垂直落進河的方向，我身子不由自主的往心裡縮，立刻回想起一年多前恐怖的愛荷華之旅，同樣也是雷電交加的大雨，而經驗不代表不會被雷聲嚇到，不代表會喜歡在風雨裡開車，我總是覺得我就是會這麼不幸的遇到許多不幸。然後我就要很理性的告訴我自己：要理性啊！

我家有兩處天花板可以直直望到天空，我抬著頭確定沒有再繼續落雨，決定去河邊散步，空氣很清，曼哈頓看來更亮眼。
這就是我一直在追尋的日子啊，可以想出門散步的時候就出門，出門散步的時候可以看到最美的夜景，尤其是在看完 Revolutionary Road之後，我很開心的說我正在過著我要的生活，框框還是有，但是框架並不輕易碰到我。

雨裡

早上幫幫涉水離開 Hoboken 的時候，新聞正在播報著昨晚的大雷雨殺掉六七個人。
一個開著休旅車的媽媽載著兩個小孩和兩三個小孩的表兄弟姐妹，因為雨勢太大沒看清路標而飆上對向的高速公路，當場跟來車迎頭對撞，只有一個小朋友生還。
一個大雷劈在一個大樹，大樹下剛跑去躲雨的人當場身亡。
兩個朋友躲著去躲雨，其中一個跑到一半被雷劈死。

我心有餘悸的緊緊抓住方向盤，雖然早上的天已經放晴，但是路面積水不退，前面的車要是突然拋錨停下來或是打滑來個不預警的大轉身，那前幾天剛花了我五百多塊進場保養的幫幫可就遭殃了。

我的涼鞋還是溼答答的掛在鞋架上，都是昨天傍晚的一場臨時大雷雨害的，背包和衣服都淋濕了，小小一把折疊傘只是勉強保住我跟班比的頭髮、他的超小 Asus Eee 筆電、我新買的 David Sedaris 和另一本小說、我們的舞鞋和不停尖叫的喉嚨。
所有的路人都跑進地鐵站躲雨，或叫或笑，拍照傳短訊，滴滴答答的地鐵站即刻成為充滿以 oh 為起始句的避風港景點。oh my god, oh shoot, oh look at me, oh grist, oh i am trapped here, oh what the, oh ...

半個小時左右，雨過天晴，地上物都異常乾淨，連雲都特別白亮的感覺，路面上的水漥也清可見底，若是真有傳說中的鱷魚在紐約地下水生活著，現在應該也願意出來透透氣。
跟台灣來的朋友吃完「一風堂」拉麵，三個男生跟著我回到 Hoboken 去看夜景，出了地鐵十五分鐘之後又開始狂風暴雨，我從家裡趕著要去河邊拯救那些男生的計畫也被吹亂：自以為雙手緊握硬骨大傘可以走過幾條街，結果風向一直變，風速一直增強，裙子頭髮亂飛，傘面翻爆，傘骨也跟著反方向翻轉，卻把傘面撐成半圓，我像是拿著一朵超大號黑色鬱金香在雨裡飄，一捲風由下往上灌過風衣，風衣和群擺也企圖一起向天盛開，一急之下我用一隻手阻擋，傘面就在此時離開傘骨，我也跑進騎樓裡，張著嘴看著越來越瘋狂的天氣。
班比說他們在河邊看著雷電不停的劃過紐約上空，莫名奇妙的趕上自然界的煙火秀。溼答答的我只想沖個熱水澡。

今天下班回家的時候，風雨早已過，但是路面積水還是很嚴重，幫幫又不是吉普車，只能慢慢的涉水，交通走走停停，三台車子在平常就已經險象環生的交叉路段追撞，一台休旅車甚至滑到整個面向車流。
這所謂交叉路段是我在賓州生活的時候沒有辦法想像的，Ａ公路交流道接進Ｂ公路的同時，Ｂ公路往外接市區道路，通通都在同一條車道上，Ａ來Ｂ的人要加速插進Ｂ的車流，要從Ｂ出去的人卻要減速才能出公路，同時要跟剛進Ｂ的車子爭車道。這個車禍就發生在Ａ接進Ｂ之後，Ｂ在一英哩內又要接進Ｃ，而就在同一條車道Ｂ又可以轉進Ａ，這樣還不夠複雜，路標都是在即將快要Ａ變Ｂ變Ｃ變Ａ的時候才出現，所以一個失神或是一個眨眼，就會錯過出口入口然後被迫飆離目的地。我第一次開車從賓州進紐約的時候就是在這裡迷的路，事隔六年我已經是老油條一個，也不敢小看這個路口。
撞到遠遠的面向車流的駕駛是個小姐，她的車看起來是沒事，但她一定要去收個驚的。可惡的紐澤西！

停了車就要走到家的時候，雨又開始下，雨越來越大，奇怪，太陽也越來越大，我家方向的人聲也越來越大。路邊停滿了採訪車，抗議人潮聚集在我家對面的市政府，雨勢擋不住大家的怒火。我才想起上個禮拜四上班途中聽到的新聞：天一亮，FBI 派員三百多人抓了四十幾個涉嫌行賄洗錢的地方官和猶太牧師，其中一個地方官是 Hoboken 的市長。這市長在被抓當天就被保出來，還回到市政府照常上班想洗刷自己的罪名。這個三十二歲的市長才在位子上坐了二十幾天，怎麼可能在大家「辭職」的叫吼聲離開呢。這些官員和抗議民眾的把戲實在不夠成熟，也不學學台灣，去參考一下新聞要怎麼製造這戲才會好看。
我呢，回家躲雨吃西瓜。啊，天氣這麼潮濕怎麼還是口乾舌燥？西瓜真是聖品。
吃掉四分之一個西瓜，雨也停了。