非雜文的期許 a bilingual plan

我最近在思考要怎麼救回我的中文寫作, 又不會犧牲我依然不是很理想的英文表達能力.

Recently I am wondering how to rescue my degrading Chinese writing skill but not to impede the progress of my never-perfect English skill.

交替著寫中英文可能不是最好的練習方式, 那只是會變成有點突兀或是不三不四的雜文.

Alternating Chinese and English may not be the best practice, and it may read awkward.

所以來試試看用中英文表達同一件事情.

Therefore, I am trying to express the same idea or make the same statement with two different languages.

這超難的啦, 因為要避免怪腔怪調的直翻, 就要考慮兩種語言在表達方式上的不同.

This proves super difficult. I have to avoid weird verbatim translation and at the same time have to consider the language-specific structures so that sentences will make sense.

例如中文常常省略主詞, 英文非常介意用字的精準度.

For example, the subject of a sentence is often omitted in Chinese while it would be considered non-standard in English. The precision of wording in English is more important than that in Chinese.

從以上的練習, 又可以看出中文用字比英文精簡.

From the above, one can see that to reflect the same meaning, a Chinese sentence is more succinct than its English counterpart.

當然可能是因為中文是我的母語, 好歹也用了一輩子. 英文及使天天用, 依然不及中文流利.

Of course the reason for shorter Chinese sentences may be due to the fact that Chinese is my native language, which I have used for my whole life time. Meanwhile, although I've used English daily for a decade, my English is still not as good as my Chinese.  

但是我就是無法用中文表達我的專業領域, 非常懊惱.

Despite of the advantage of the Chinese language in me, I am simply unable to express my profession in Chinese. This is frustrating.

所以我要練習中英文互用, 這樣不僅是中英文打字能力可以一起維持住水準, 有一天我也可以用中文跟麻嗎說明我到底在美國做甚麼.

To address this issue, I am going to set a goal: One day I will explain to Mama what I am doing in the States in Chinese. To reach this goal, I will practice writing, i.e., typing, English as well as Chinese. The beneficial side-effect will be that both my English and Chinese typings will stay at a pretty good level.

其實, 她是看得懂英文的. 但是隔行如隔山, 她就是沒辦法理解認知神經心理學家到底是在幹甚麼.

Actually, she can read English. But people in different professions are like people believe in different religions. She simply cannot understand what a neurocognitive psychologist does.

我個人認為"認知神經心理學" 需要重新命名. 這樣的直翻就好像三流的電影翻譯一樣, 詞不達意, 徒增不必要的神祕和困擾.

I personally think "neurocognitive psychology" should be renamed or re-branded in the Chinese-speaking science community. The literally direct translation does not convey the meaning, like poorly translated foreign movies that induce unneccessary mistery and confusion.

應該叫做"腦與行為學".

I would propose the new label "the Study of Brain and Behavior."

雖然依然很難懂, 但是就沒有"認知" 或是"心理學" 這些字眼來攪局.

Although the proposed new label may still be confusing, there is no "cognitive" or "psychology" that invites wrong interpretation.

那我要怎麼說明 "空間忽略症" 呢?  我再想想...  今天的中文練習就先這樣.

And how should I explain the disorder of spatial neglect? Let me think about it. I'm done with today's Chinese practice. 

post-Sandy Halloween 2012

Two days after Hurricane Sandy hit, the curfew of my town was finally lifted. I took my car out and drove it away. Not so far away. I tried to get to work. There was not much traffic on the road because 99% of traffic lights were not working. However, the pathways connected to my work were blocked because of falling trees. Two hours later, I gave it up and found downtown South Orange unaffected by the storm. Oh this is the town housed my worst year of life.
Superstar and I stopped there for food and made a plan: find a place with power and internet and work from there. We decided to go to a place 40 miles away.

Superstar and I went to Flushing, Queens. (Every time when I use this expression "Flushing, Queens", it feels like Flushing were a town and Queens were a state. It's like saying "在台北的天母", no no, actually it feels more like "在大安區的東區" because Queens is "just" a borough of NYC)
Anyway, we went to Flushing surprisingly easily without any traffic jam. However, it was FULL OF PEOPLE AND CARS, taking me almost an hour to find a parking space. Chinese-speaking people there were happily doing their business more than usual. Halloween-dressed children were everywhere doing trick-o-treat. Lines of lines of people were waiting for buses (because the subway was and is totally shut down). Later, we met up with friends and went to Forrest Hill (still in Queens).

The current circle of friends is formed by people from Taiwan, living in or around Forrest Hill. I have not had such a big circle (roughly 10 people) of Taiwanese friends for ... hm... 10 years I believe. I am the oldest person in this circle. I know it sounds tacky...  When I came to the States, I was only 22. What a baby, thinking I had all figured out.

Thanks to Sopi, allowing me use her internet. I did work a bit, replying to tens of email messages. Many of the messages were asking if I was alright. I have had a bad diarrhea since the hurricane landed and I still ran to the toilet 3 times already this morning....
Oh no, the hurricane did not make any physical damage to me or my property (i.e., my car "mini wing"). The terrible thing was actually no connection to the rest of the world. My cellphone could not receive any signal even until today. I am a news junky. I love reading and watching news every day. I want to know things. I am on Facebook, Flipboard, and CNN apps. The sudden and prolonged disconnection made me so isolated and bored.
So having friends around or going to friends so that they could be around was quite a treat. We had dinner and after-dinner sweets and chatted and chatted until it's about time for bed (around 10pm.. yeah... I know.... I'm not young anymore).

When the car entered Hoboken, we felt it. It was so dark that my eyes needed a few minutes to adapt, It was the full moon (or very close to full). Shadows under bright moon light simply gave me a chill. As we slowly drove into town, the car headlights showed the spooky Halloween decorations outside the buildings. People were taking causal walks with flash lights. No trick-o-treat. Just treat. It was a peaceful night with sporadic siren alarms vooming in and out. With half of the town evacuated, street parking became so easy.
The full-moon Frankenstorm Hurricane Sandy is gone. But the scary things follow the scared people. Rumors started about the tapping water safety. Riots in all gas stations in New Jersey and New York.
Stop spreading rumors. Stop panicking! Just staying calm will be a great help.
Thank you, Hoboken. Oh, I need to go to the toilet again. 

sorry, elephants

I read Bryan Christy's essay "Ivory Worship" featured in the National Geographic's October 2012 issue.

Christy describes a world where people of different religions help one another to kill elephants for making offerings to Gods. Humans are a species who kill other species for non-basic needs. We kill crocodiles for their skin, roosters for their feathers, and tigers for fur. Humans are very creative about decorating our appearances with other animals' appearances. Ivory is a different kind. It is blessed by our imagination, and elephants are just carriers of ivory. Carriers don't matter. What matters is the profit behind humans' desire of owning a piece of something that represents one's ability to do everything and anything. Yes, simply because we can wear shoes made of crocodile skin, extend hair with rooster feathers, cover a piece of floor with tiger fur, or decorate a God-worshiping house with sophisticatedly carved ivory. Or simply decorate a house. Oh, why not?

Why do people love pandas and hate the idea of killing them for fur or meat? Because they are cute. Why don't people eat dogs? Because they are "humans' best friend." Why don't Muslims eat pork? Why don't Jews eat shellfish? Humans adopt an arbiuary system that determines other animals' fate. Pandas are lucky. Elephants aren't. Humans are their Gods.

The ivory problem is extremely difficult to solve, as Christy nicely summarizes in last quarter of his essay. Any problem involving human greed is not easy to solve. Like the oil problem in Western Africa, the girl-trafficking problem in India, the drug problem in Mexico, or the dophine problem in Japan. Just to name a few. The thing is these problems are global. The market is international. As to ivory, it is not just human greed but also labeled with holy purposes which justify human greed.

Long time ago, I read an article about saving a specific kind of boars in the US. Their number was endangered. The solution was to increase its economical value by promoting its meat. Because the meat had the red-meat texture like beef and had a mouthwatering aroma when grilled, people actually loved having it. As the sales went up, farmers raised more of the boars and saved the species. I read this article in a local magazine, so I can't be sure about the facts and other factors overlooked by the author. However, it may be a solution for many other animals. Historically, humans select who get to live and who get to die. We select fruit, vegetables, and grain. We make modern horses possible. We make dogs. We shall be able to keep elephants alive. If ivory is so valueable, we can't use up its resources. We have to care its carriers. Carriers do matter. One cannot catch the entire ocean of fish in one season and expect to have another good season next year. Big buyers (people in China, Phillipines, and Thailand, as mentioned in Christy's report) have to help Africans save elephants and make ivory trades much more transparent. Banning it is certainly not a solution. People love doing things illegal.

If humans in most parts of the worlds practice routines discriminating half of their population, i.e., women, for milleniums, how can one expect that humans will respect other species anytime soon? We cannot save a species by "respecting" their existence or treating them with "humane" acts. Only too few people lead their lives with educated principles. Too many others earn their livings by taking advantages of anyone. Take the advantage of human greed. Set regulative rules that benefit the elephant hunters, the buyers, the traders, as well as the elephants. Then we may see less crual killings and stablizing the number of the elephant population.

Sorry, elephants.
    

happy mama's day

Today the HR informed me that I needed to pay $3,000 out of my pocket for the second phase of the green card application. Of course, I complained silently and will eventually write that check in a few days. Then I went home and watched the movie Shame on DVD. The Brandon character reminded me of someone who I had almost forgotten entirely even though I have to admit that this someone changed my life in a significantly harsh way. Perhaps this not-so-positive vibe since 4pm made me complain about the difficulty of life, which is a usual excuse for me not trying to find a better justification.

Then I thought of my mother, who plays the most important role at every stage of my life. The thought of her made me feel guilty about my negative thinking of my own life. How could I complain about life? The only person that I need to take care of physically, mentally, cognitively, and finacially is myself. At my age, she had to take care of me and my brother while paying mortgage and living with the trauma caused by the fact that my father declaired his love of another woman. My mom also cooked every evening and kissed me good night every night until I went to college.

When I was learning how to ride a scooter, one thing that encouraged me was that my mother does not know how to ride a bicycle but I do. I believed that I could do better than she. When I was stressed out with only $20 in my bank account, I thought of her and believed that I could survive for a few days until my paycheck came. When I was robbed, I called her and she calmed me down. When I was heart-broken, hit by bs at work, informed with annoying news at doctors' offices, or lonely and sick...,  I did not tell her but think of her. Nothing in life will end the world because she will be there for me if I do ask for help.

Today is her birthday. I should say yesterday Taiwan time was her birthday. Learning her life, I know life is difficult. Learning her life, I know I need to be and am living my own life instead of a life that follows anyone's expectation. Learning her life, I know I need to be tougher than she was so that I will not re-live the tragedies that she went through. But she also experienced lots of joyful moments with her children in a way only single-parent families can understand and cherish.

Let's celebrate mama's new age! Thank her for her unconditional love and liberal education. She is a Goddess as many have suggested :)  I must have done tons of great things last life for being her daughter this life. Or I'm simply lucky. I think I am simply lucky.

來迎接下個十年

最近認識一個小我整整十歲的女孩。十年前的今天，我開始了我的美國生活。
如今回首，有多少巧合造就了今天的我？有多少是我的努力？有多少是努力造成的巧合？有多少巧合成全了努力？
好多的過客，時間去蕪存菁的留住值得我留住的人。

十年前小月跟著我來到美東，現在小月坐在我窗台。小搖頭是後來加入的夥伴。